Hi friends!
Most of you know that we moved to Brooklyn a few months ago, and so far it’s really been sunshine and rainbows for us. So many friends! Such good food! Great schools! Infrastructure! We’re happy, our kids are happy, it’s been lovely.
On Tuesday morning at 8:34 am, I had just dropped Alma off at school when Jim texted me from the subway: “Track fire at 36th st? Smoky conditions they say.” A few minutes later: “Someone looked out the window and said the floor was covered in blood at 36th street.” He saw people limping away, EMS everywhere. His was the train to arrive at 36th street directly after the subway shooting. As we pieced together details, the closer to home it felt: Jim was one train away (though he was on the D train, not the N train). Our babysitter takes the D train from that station to our house; she had walked outside to see everyone being evacuated, and luckily hopped on a bus and arrived safely, but shaken. My oldest friend nimbly navigated the public transit system from Manhattan to Brooklyn to have lunch with me, only to find that there was no way for her to get to work afterwards because the trains weren’t running. When they found the guy’s U-Haul, it was a few blocks away from Cy’s school. All afternoon and evening, helicopters swarmed over our heads. Lots of close connections.
My instinct was not to tell the kids what had happened. They feel safe here, and I didn’t want to puncture that bubble. The shooting was an anomaly, not systemic, and I feel like we can sometimes give one-offs a pass in terms of explaining the horrors of the world. But because of train delays we had to take Sara to work and pick Jim up from work, so I told them why.
I was very matter of fact: a man shot someone on a subway train this morning. They’re still looking for him. We don’t know why. People were hurt, no one was killed. Trains are still safe. I expected them to be freaked out, but they took it surprisingly calmly, focused mostly on having to spend two hours in the car instead of at the playground on a sunny day. When the helicopters were circling over our house, they wanted to know if the shooter was near by. We said we hoped not, but we were safe.
I remembered that when the kids get most upset and anxious, it’s not because of things they know, but things they don’t—it’s the uncertainty that haunts them. By answering all of their question (and sparing them the gratuitous details), we were able to reduce that uncertainty.
We also, to quote Mr. Rogers, emphasized the helpers. How the doctors on the train applied tourniquets as they waited for EMS to arrive. The fact that one passenger hugged a pregnant woman and put himself between her and the shooter to save her life. And then, when they caught him yesterday, we showed them this great video of Zack, the fast thinking security guard who recognized the suspect and turned him in:
All night, Cyrus was aglow—“Zack’s a real hero, Mom!” And he totally was! There were good guys who beat the bad guys, and they’re ordinary New Yorkers. I think that’s what they’ll remember: the fact that we can be our own heroes in times like this.
What We’re Reading
First, props to Brooklyn Public Libraries for fighting against banned books by offering free library cards to every kid in the country (see? Love Brooklyn!)
We had pre-ordered the fifth book in the Aru Shah series, and it arrived last week, to everyone’s delight. These books are so fun to read out loud.
I just finished reading The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka, which was a sad and lovely book, and now I’m having a blast reading India Holton’s The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels.
Finally, a shameless plug: I’m going to teach a course on how to write a nonfiction book this summer! It’s geared toward academics, but most of it’s about how to write a book that other people want to read, so if you’ve ever wanted to write a nonfiction book, it’s for you! Check out the link, feel free to tell your friends, and if you use the code “letswrite2022” you’ll get 10% off!